I know I've missed a few episodes but I'm just going to post in pace with the remainder of the season. No looking back, only forward.
You can't have a summer in New York City without spending some time in The Hamptons. For those of you who don't know, The Hamptons is both a popular seaside resort area in addition to residential homesteads for some of the east coast's most affluent individuals and families. The area is also becoming increasingly popular amongst Europeans as an American summer retreat. Think sprawling estates set in historical villages, complete with Madison Avenue quality shopping, five - star restaurants and of course, the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean. A home away from home for the well-heeled socialites and the certain city dwellers looking for an escape that maintains all of the amenities of the good life.
Welcome to East Hampton

When making the 2 hour drive from Manhattan to The Hamptons, one must absolutely do so in style. I love how all of the girls in the car look fresh-faced except Roxy, because harlots never leave home without a full deck of makeup. Remember the importance of the first impression; you never know who you might meet along the way and during those fateful 2 hours, you are guaranteed to make stops somewhere (especially if you get lost, which is almost certainly going to happen). Also, try and keep comfortable. As a veteran of public transportation, I always try and travel with a big bottle water (your skin is your best accessory), comfortable shorts and footwear, such as gladiator sandals or leather riding boots, a loose t - shirt and a hoodie. Think wrinkle-resistant clothing, because after sitting for a few hours, you don't want to look like you went a few rounds in the bedroom while exiting the car. Bedroom hair
yes. Bedroom clothing
no. And don't go crazy on the accessories either. Whitney was an excellent example of this as she just kept to a simple watch and a few bracelets, with slight earrings. Just because this was her first time out in
Le Hamps doesn't mean she had to
look like it was her first time. The locals can spot first-timers from Manhattan a mile away (New Jersey, two). Don't let that be you.
[side note: make sure you have a full tank of gas! There's definitely a stretch of 495 that doesn't have a single gas station, and we had to almost call BMW Roadside Assistance to save us from being stranded in no man's land.]
Roxy & her Playboy mouth

This girl can either be
highly entertaining or
beyond annoying and with each episode, she teeters on this fine line precariously. Either way, she can be simply boiled down to these two words:
attention whore. As a self described "
bull in a china shop," I know a thing or two about being invasive and sometimes, inappropriately so
but, there's a time and a venue for such behavior(s):
- The proverbial "what's the wildest thing you've ever done" conversation: these are great when you're drunk and are done rehashing your life to a complete stranger and want to send them to the moon (this presupposing that you in fact have a wildest story to tell). I would caution telling stories about how you got completely wasted, went to get a tattoo (I can feel a cliche coming on here), went to remove one article of clothing and ended up naked with a gnarly tattoo on your vag on national/international television. She can pretty much eliminate any possibility of a white collor job right now.
- The Fackelemayer Boys & Tanning: Roxy: Have you been tanning? Harry: No, we've been surfing all day. Roxy: No, you guys look like you've been in a booth. Though I agree with Roxy, Harry might not be lying. I mean, where else are you going to find a larger reflective surface than the ocean?
- Puns on the Fackelmayer name: Roxy calls the Fackelmayer's "Frankenmiles" playfully in one scene. Though generally speaking, that was not nice, you've got to admit, there is something inherently comical about their last name! I went to college with Freddie and we were in the same social circle and I remember meeting him and hearing his unfortunate name (not to mention at the time, he had freckles, red hair and a much slimmer build). Pretty fucking funny.
- Freddie and his high infidelity: I have to correct Roxy's "he probably does this all the time" with respect to his alleged cheating ways during the revelation to Whitney that he has(had) a girlfriend. From what I understand of Freddie ala our college years, he was far too romanitically inept to be the player. MTV was just capitalizing off of the fact that he was in fact, in a relationship with a young woman who wasn't apart of the show and unaware of his exact involvement with the plot (i.e. that he was going to be Whitney's love interest). There is no doubt in my mind that that was intentionally worked in to create more fictitious drama (though I am told the girlfriend in question has since left him because of said fictitious drama, more on that story, at 11). Though I applaud her effort as a friend for speaking to Whitney immediately and directly about this, she took two giant steps back by approaching Freddie in the presence of Whitney. That wasn't her place. And didn't Whitney show her with "listen, I don't need a mouthpiece." Congratulations to Whitney. I think she finally found her cojones.
[side note: What does it say about the Fackelmayer Boys and their respect for women (or each other) when they begin fighting over Whitney, while drunk, at a club, on national/international television, like she's a t - bone steak? I'm sure Fridolin's proud.]
Reason 344645778 why Olivia Palermo is pure fiction
When someone asks you to conduct an interview of another person, you should never assume you know enough. There are always questions you can ask; your goal is to learn as much as about this person as possible. People in general, love to talk about themselves; all you've got to do is give them a soapbox. But Olivia, as fictional accessories editor for Elle, doesn't know any of this and thinks that by asking a few paltry questions, she's "conducted an interview." And Erin was dead-on with her criticism of Olivia's second blogger interview; you can't ask someone about the current trends when the article wasn't slatted to post until the fall. A real accessories editor would have known better.
And I think Joe Zee must have been reading some of my blog posts (hey Joe!) and finally, well, almost stepped up to the plate by ripping Olivia a new one for failure to perform. When asked about her performance in conducting the interviews, Olivia immediately deflected to the bloggers, blaming Tommy for being "a little quiet" and how she "tried to get her out of her shell." The blogger was anything but -- patiently waiting for you to take a genuine interest cannot possibly be construed as timid. And for the record, Olivia did not ask Jane about her personal style (unless that footage was left on the cutting room floor). If she did, she wouldn't have had to ruffle through her papers looking for the invisible answer, she'd have known it right off the top of her head. A real accessories editor would have known better. Joe, unsatisfied and frankly, probably a little embarrassed, chided Olivia for her "lackluster" answers and sub-par work ethic. I mean, you have a pretend job, for god's sake! At least put some bloody effort into it!
[side note: I was actually surprised by how not cute Jane from Sea of Shoes was in this episode. I always suspected that the shots on her blog were hyper-real by way of Photoshop, I just had no idea that she'd come off dowdy.]
PLEASE NOTE: ALL PICTURES ARE PROPERTY OF ROXY OLIN