Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The Shitty City.
I fake it so real, I'm beyond fake.

 

IF a girl making $25,000 a year at a magazine, is telling you how to style the clothes from your clothing line, then you are NOT a designer: Watching Whit Whit fumble with the few brain cells left in her head, desperately trying to put together TWO LOOKS around TWO PIECES OF CLOTHING from her "clothing line" at the Glamour offices was agonizing. When Whit Whit said that she had "a hard time making decisions," especially in the absence of the other-half of her brain (Roxy), a stylist from Glamour had to suggest that Whit Whit find inspiration in the accessories available in the room. One more time folks: she's styling around her "own" clothes. [blank stare] Should Whit Whit really be designing clothes?

When things started going to the left: Roxy's diarrhea of a mouth described the look she styled for Whit Whit (when she finally showed up to the meeting LATE, looking like last night's party) as  "hooker-ballerina." What exactly IS a "hooker-ballerina?" I get it, Roxy's a freak but when styling is reduced to an individual who pirouettes on a corner in Jackson Heights for a fiver, then we've got a serious problem on our hands. 

And when things returned to center: Kelly, the God, had to remind Roxy that being a freak is only appropriate on Halloween and in Usher's new music video. Otherwise, "if you're an assistant, you don't say things like that because its not appropriate especially if you're at a Conde Nast magazine that's THAT girlie." Remember, when it comes to Roxy, "I've never been wrong." -- thus spake the God.

A collection is more than one skirt: All I heard about in this episode from the girls at Glamour -- "everyone here loves THE skirt." A collection is not a skirt. I understand that Glamour is doing a feature on Whit Whit but one skirt from her entire collection? Not a good sign for the future of Whit Whit's collection (see the $5 bin at a future sample sale). 

Olivia can talk to a park bench: from this episode, I've learned the following about Olivia -- she contributes little to nothing at Elle, she's met everyone "a couple of times," is best friends with Leighton and Blake (see Gossip Girl) and can talk to a park bench. If these are the pre-requisites for employment with Elle magazine, then I can be the bloody Editor-in-Chief.

And if you take away nothing else from this post: Zeno Hot Spot does NOT work. If you were bamboozled into purchasing this Tonka facial product, shame on you. You buy things that are pitched by a brain-dead, bird look-a-like that can't even style her "own" clothes (not to mention she's wearing MAKE UP in a PIMPLE ZAPPING commercial). I hope you saved your receipt.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

WELCOME BACK QUEEN

THIS WAS FUCKING FANTASTIC

I COULD N-O-T STOP LAUGHING

"TONKA FACIAL PRODUCT" LMAO!!!

Roya + the Machine said...

Your "The City" recaps are so amazing.

Never, EVER change.

Amandita said...

Oh gosh I cannot wait to see next episode, to see Olivia face getting served its going to be hilarious...
Kelly is always right, Roxy is just crazy or like Kelly said a freak, but something I thinks she wants to sabotage Whitney career. Omg and Whitney gosh she needs to get more aggressive... I love the show overall, great post hon

J. said...

I never seem to catch the show but I love your recaps...I feel like they're probably better than the show anyway.

snoblak said...

You make my day with the Shitty City comments LOL !!! Right now in London they are invovled with Armani Exchange for some strange reason. UGH hate Armani Exchange.