THEQUEENOFHEARTS

Where not to eat in The City: Delicatessen 

If you're in Soho, Noho or the Lower East Side ("LES") and are looking for some super-trendy scene restaurant to eat at and maybe see some famous models and/or actors, then head to Delicatessen. However, if you're looking for palatable food, worthy of Upper East Side ("UES") prices, then perhaps you should keep looking. A few weeks ago, I met up with my friend Jules for a long overdue brunch. I was super excited not only to see her but to catch-up over a warm, delicious New York City meal. Unfortunately, my hasty selection of Delicatessen [located @ 54 Prince Street, New York] eventually left me dissatisfied, hungry and out nearly three digits! Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Mojito: Decent. Nothing mind blowing about a drink that pretty much every bartender worth his or her salt should know how to make and without a mix. If you're going to try the food here, against my wishes, then be sure to order a drink. (or two, possibly three). You'll need something sour and tasty to wash down the awful meal. 

Chicken Paillard: I swear to whatever god that you believe in, this was the worst chicken paillard that I have ever had in my entire life INCLUDING one consumed at a diner. And no, I'm not talking about some luxury diner in Vegas but an off-the-beaten-path diner. The balsamic vinegar was sour, the arugula might as well have been completely wilted and the chicken had the texture and consistency of a my gym sneakers. I took one bite and sent the atrocity back. The waiter was kind enough to offer me a substitute (which I have no doubt that the chef spat in) and I selected the salmon. I didn't even bother taking a picture of the salmon. It was drenched in oil and the iceberg lettuce (which restaurant, worthy of a credible Zagat rating,  serves iceberg lettuce?) side also looked unappetizing. Jules had to assist me in eating the salmon; I was afraid that the BP amount of oil would clog my arteries.

Truffle oil fries: Though a tad on the salty side, certainly worth ordering because you'll need something to eat to keep from getting wasted off of the mojitos. 

Chicken Cobb Salad: Jules ordered this and I tried the chicken, just to make sure that I wasn't living in a parallel food universe of chicken that only tastes like gym sneakers. The chicken in her chicken cobb was fantastic; perfectly grilled with just the right amount of juiciness. As for the rest of the salad, Jules didn't seem especially thrilled with the leafy greens as she picked about it for the remainder of the brunch.

The Queen of Hearts gives Delicatessen a D+ for terrible entrees, tasty fries and a worthy mojito.